That one time I sort of did cocaine...

Photo: dea.gov

First thing is first, I was a badass teenager. Not badass in the way that people use it for women like Malala Yousafzai, no. I was fucking terrible. Including but not limited to, cutting school, getting arrested, having ACS try to remove me from the premises because I was so bad, getting pregnant, doing drugs, drinking, suffering from anorexia nervosa, and generally being a demon.

So let's get to it. I grew up with two sisters, my mom and a stepfather. Both parents really loved to party, both literally and in the drug addict sense of the word; although if you ask my mom LSD was more her thing. In addition to that, my biological father was a steady heroin addict on the fast track to being a junkie all before I was 12 years old. So, exposure to drugs and alcohol for me was no big deal. I honestly thought all kids were exposed to drugs and alcohol like I was and in retrospect can totally understand why many parents did not want their kids staying at my house for sleepovers, ugh.

I was 14 and totally in love with a fucking psycho. I mean this dude would question the hairstyles I did because Lord forbid I looked decent for standard civilization. Anyway, he was a 17 year old crack/cocaine dealer and generally bad news.

One sunny day, cutting school, smoking weed, drinking, fucking, repeat... I decided I wanted to try cocaine. This motherfucker made me record (on a cassette tape!) that he was not forcing me into it and it was my own volition, touché to you sir. Boom, he procures the product, now I am scared.

"I can't do it. Is there another way to do it besides snorting it?"

"You can eat it."

"OK."

I ingest what must be about a 1/4 of a teaspoon of cocaine.

Luckily, so fucking luckily, I didn't feel anything. Probably because I didn't snort it like a person usually does but thank the fucking cosmos because if I did I'd probably be in a drug trafficking ring I couldn't escape, ugh. Maybe I didn't feel anything because I was already high? High and drunk?

I ended up just playing video games and actually relaxing through the day of playing hooky. 

Point is, thankfully I was such a fuck up that I fucked up on becoming an official fuck up. The one time being a fuck up works out for you!

Let me know your thoughts....what was your first experimental drug experience like?

Nadia Chanté