"...domino, domino Only spot a few blacks the higher I go" - Jay Z
I have worked very hard over the last decade to move up in my career. I often refer to my career as my first baby as I have sacrificed time, energy, money, sanity and relationships for it. I have seen it grow and bloom over the years into the semi-adult it is now. I'm not exactly where I want to be but I'm well on my way there and I'm happy with the path I have chosen.
Through the years I have also experienced a bit of what Jay-Z mentioned above, the lack of presence of other people of color in a corporate or executive space where our equity as professionals is lacking.
I'm often in meetings with executives of my agency as I work closely on bridging agency to client gaps in program areas utilized by several hundred thousand families and individuals in NYC. My experience has been one that hasn't warranted any feelings of marginalization. There is privilege in that. I am often told I am valued. I am often told I deserve more money and I am offered more money. I received a raise AFTER my return from maternity leave, a situation that is not common among women - let alone women of color.
As much feedback I receive, it is still a lonely road here. I started with my unit in 2015 and it wasn't until 2018 when they hired another woman of color where I felt like I could connect and truly be myself at my place of work. Now in 2019 they have brought on 2 more woman of color and I'm happy to see the increase in camaraderie between us and our unit. This has tremendous positive outcomes on our own productivity as we recognize within each other, our success, knowing our the struggles we overcame to get here - the emotional support we show each other yields better performing staff.
The thing is, not every woman of color cares or wants you to succeed. I'm all for supporting one another and teaching one another. I think there are lessons to be learned in communal support that are tantamount to our success. I've encountered women like this at my agency. They think you need to "pay your dues" before learning what they know, or achieving leadership status like them - because that is what they had to do. Sis, all that is teaching me is I can learn faster and better than you because you're stuck in some draconian self-survivalist mentality; it's not going to work out for you. I'm just too damn good at what I do, feel me? Nonetheless it is still taxing, emotionally, whenever this happens.
If you live this life and can commiserate, tell me how you cope? Me? I enjoy being so good I can't be ignored. As the Queen said herself, "Always stay gracious; best revenge is your paper."
